Wednesday, November 30, 2011

i always want to know everything. am i selfish in that sense?

Saturday, November 26, 2011

cancel wish list yg lama.

rasa macam bosan pulak tgk wishlist yg lama. nk buat baru lah. tiba-tiba rasa rimas pulak tgk. 

1. nk g new zealand!!
2. nk g beijing, tgk gambar macam cantik je tempatnyer.
3. kene buat bisnes. kene cari duit lebih.
4. kumpul kasut sampai 100 pasang.. hahaha...
5. jangan rushing untuk kawin. kawin bila dh betul2 ready. yeah!
6. beli umah n kereta.
7. selalu pergi buat treatment muka supaya xkedut2 n nampak cantik je untuk suami. oh, kne jaga badan jugak!
8. belajar masak semua benda. wajib. 
9. nk berubah kepada yg lebih baik dan lebih baik.
10. nk travel around the world...!!!

apa lg ek?

Monday, November 14, 2011


boredom has brought me to my wishlist i created when i was 10-11 year-old. some are nonsense, half-achieved, too big to figure out, yet to come, and haven't been thought of = forget!. and after some alterations here and there, i decided to keep the wishlist and FOLLOW MY DREAMS i dreamt during my childhood. it wasn't bad at all i think.

here are they:
#1 - save some money to buy Merc & a bangalow. (urr.... i'll try. or at least an affordable car)
#2 - travel around the world in 30 days! (i'll make it an annual holiday, so i can save money by year end)
#3 - buy a lot of perfumes. (i'm collecting)
#4 - study hard, be a doctor. (ok, maybe PhD in teaching profession since im in this, insyaallah)
#5 - get married at 22 like mama. (i'm 24 and still counting, if God's will)

and the list continues soon... i'm sleepy. it's time to dream...

Chasing Pavements

I've made up my mind,
Don't need to think it over
If I'm wrong, I am right
Don't need to look no further,
This ain't lust
I know this is love
But, if I tell the world
I'll never say enough
'cause it was not said to you
And that's exactly what I need to do
If I end up with you

Should I give up,
Or should I just keep chasin' pavements?
Even if it leads nowhere
Or would it be a waste
Even if I knew my place
Should I leave it there
Should I give up,
Or should I just keep chasin' pavements
Even if it leads nowhere

I build myself up
And fly around in circles
Waitin' as my heart drops
And my back begins to tingle
Finally, could this be it

Or should I give up
Or should I just keep chasin' pavements
Even if it leads nowhere
Or would it be a waste
Even if I knew my place
Should I leave it there

Should I give up
Or should I just keep chasin' pavements
Even if it leads nowhere
Or would it be a waste
Even if I knew my place should I leave it there
Should I give up
Or should I just keep on chasin' pavements
Should I just keep no chasin' pavements
Ohh oh

[Chorus x2]

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

You can take it all

Adele - "Take It All"

Didn't I give it all,
Tried my best,
Gave you everything I had,
Everything and no less?
Didn't I do it right?
Did I let you down?

Maybe you got too used to
By having me around.
Still how can you walk away
From all my tears?
It's gonna be an empty road
Without me right here.

But go on and take it,
Take it all with you.
Don't look back
At this crumbling fool.
Just take it all
With my love,
Take it all
With my love.

Maybe I should leave
To help you see ‒
Nothing is better than this
And this is everything we need.
So is it over?
Is this really it?
You've given up so easily,
I thought you loved me more than this.

I will change if I must.
Slow it down and bring it home, I will adjust.
Oh if only, if only you knew,
Everything I do is for you.

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

at Straits Quay, Penang.

Monday, June 13, 2011




Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Helen Keller - aku buta dan tuli sejak bayi

Helen Keller would not be bound by conditions. Rendered deaf and blind at 19 months by scarlet fever, she learned to read (in several languages) and even speak, eventually graduating with honors from Radcliffe College in 1904, where as a student she wrote The Story of My Life. That she accomplished all of this in an age when few women attended college and the disabled were often relegated to the background, spoken of only in hushed tones, is remarkable. But Keller's many other achievements are impressive by any standard: she authored 13 books, wrote countless articles, and devoted her life to social reform. An active and effective suffragist, pacifist, and socialist (the latter association earned her an FBI file), she lectured on behalf of disabled people everywhere. She also helped start several foundations that continue to improve the lives of the deaf and blind around the world.

As a young girl Keller was obstinate, prone to fits of violence, and seething with rage at her inability to express herself. But at the age of 7 this wild child was transformed when, at the urging of Alexander Graham Bell, Anne Sullivan became her teacher, an event she declares "the most important day I remember in all my life." (Sullivan herself had once been blind, but partially recovered her sight after a series of operations.) In a memorable passage, Keller writes of the day "Teacher" led her to a stream and repeatedly spelled out the letters w-a-t-e-r on one of her hands while pouring water over the other. This method proved a revelation: "That living world awakened my soul, gave it light, hope, joy, set it free! There were barriers still, it is true, but barriers that could in time be swept away." And, indeed, most of them were.
In her lovingly crafted and deeply perceptive autobiography, Keller's joyous spirit is most vividly expressed in her connection to nature:
Indeed, everything that could hum, or buzz, or sing, or bloom, had a part in my education.... Few know what joy it is to feel the roses pressing softly into the hand, or the beautiful motion of the lilies as they sway in the morning breeze. Sometimes I caught an insect in the flower I was plucking, and I felt the faint noise of a pair of wings rubbed together in a sudden terror....

The idea of feeling rather than hearing a sound, or of admiring a flower's motion rather than its color, evokes a strong visceral sensation in the reader, giving The Story of My Life a subtle power and beauty. Keller's celebration of discovery becomes our own. In the end, this blind and deaf woman succeeds in sharpening our eyes and ears to the beauty of the world. --Shawn Carkonen

* orang yang buta dan tuli pun boleh buat semua tu. Helen, you have opened my heart and mind that i would be a teacher full of H.E.A.R.T. a big one at that regardless of circumstances.

"YA ALLAH... kau berikan hamba-Mu ini kekuatan untuk menjalani kehidupanku dan petunjuk ke jalan yang Engkau redhai.. Kau permudahkanlah segala urusanku dan berkatilah segala perbuatanku.. Amin..."

Monday, January 17, 2011

unintended ignorance...

I’ve always wanted to remember all the memories in my life. Yeah. i mean all. the hell yeah! and hell nooo! ones. But i was oblivious to keep my eyes and my heart open to those which back then i thought insignificant (in my life and that affect others). i happened to ask myself, why can’t i not at least remember the event ‘she’ mentioned? Or was i foolishly being ignorance to the people around me? Of how they felt and what they thought. (And worst, i don't know what was i thinking back then.)

I want to say to all the honourable people who have walked, or still walking, or just passing by or maybe just peeped into my life that...


I am sorry for the memories which i clumsily ignored.

I am sorry for being inappropriately unappreciative for the memories that are completely gone no matter how much i try hard to catch it.

I am sorry for the thoughts of my unbearable and disgraceful mind of ignorance of those beautiful memories you have kept for many many years thinking it was beautiful AND I WASN’T THINKING THE SAME. 

I am sorry that i am not the person like you who is constantly being aware of your surroundings, friends, and the atmosphere. 

I am sorry for i had mistreated any of you (some of you, or all of you) that always think i am a good friend. I am not.

I am sorry for who i am that makes you feel unbearably hurt and thwarted.

i purposely write this for i realised one thing that ‘Sharifah Bazilah’ mentioned in her blog. I realised that my significant memories might not be the same with other’s even though that person has the same occurrences of events which i was one of the characters. 

And somehow i feel really really bad for i wasn’t being able to appreciate or at least see the same thing she feels (of going out and hanging out together). 

Once i read her entry, i was thinking why that particular event doesn’t come and make sense to me at all? At least a little bit here and there. But none. 

What i think is significant to me might not be a yes to others.

What i feel is not important to me might be important to others.  

Thanks to all of you who always be there when i need you.

Thanks to all of you who always and still believe that i can change the world.
Haha. (that’s sarcastic, really). And i know i can’t.

Thanks to those who has been supporting me and accept me for who i am. (even though you know i’m not a good friend).

Thanks to all of you for every moment that made me laughed, cried and sobered and everything you’ve given me. Cause you made me stronger. =)

Thanks to all of you who take me for who i am and love me for who i am not.

Thanks to whoever you are. You know when you know.

Sunday, January 9, 2011

Allah's Gift : Alhamdulillah...


i just checked the result and i was confused at first.
then siti, my roomate ASSISTED me to comfirm the result.

i was trembling and knelled down saying
"Alhamdulillah... u have granted my wish."

 PMS : 4.0

I owe a great bunch of thanks to all my friends and my parents for all the help and support they gave me..


Siti Khadijah Kamaruzaman

Shazwani Adnan

Nurul Insyirah Abd Razak

sharifah Bazilah Syed Burhanudin

Farah Illyana Azmi

Mohd Ezarul Hisyam Abd Ghani
 and to all of my friends who has been helping me with notes, and all the handouts. 
This is all OUR hardworks.

I pray that all of you will achieve success in everything you do and receive abundant of happiness throughout your life.

i love you all.




Saturday, January 8, 2011

A Tear and A Smile-Khalil Gibran

I would not exchange the sorrows of my heart
For the joys of the multitude.
And I would not have the tears that sadness makes
To flow from my every part turn into laughter.

I would that my life remain a tear and a smile.

A tear to purify my heart and give me understanding
Of life's secrets and hidden things.
A smile to draw me nigh to the sons of my kind and
To be a symbol of my glorification of the gods.

A tear to unite me with those of broken heart;
A smile to be a sign of my joy in existence.

I would rather that I died in yearning and longing than that I live Weary and despairing.

I want the hunger for love and beauty to be in the
Depths of my spirit,for I have seen those who are
Satisfied the most wretched of people.
I have heard the sigh of those in yearning and Longing, and it is sweeter than the sweetest melody.

With evening's coming the flower folds her petals
And sleeps, embracing her longing.
At morning's approach she opens her lips to meet
The sun's kiss.

The life of a flower is longing and fulfillment.
A tear and a smile.

The waters of the sea become vapor and rise and come
Together and area cloud.

And the cloud floats above the hills and valleys
Until it meets the gentle breeze, then falls weeping
To the fields and joins with brooks and rivers to Return to the sea, its home.

The life of clouds is a parting and a meeting.
A tear and a smile.

And so does the spirit become separated from
The greater spirit to move in the world of matter
And pass as a cloud over the mountain of sorrow
And the plains of joy to meet the breeze of death
And return whence it came.

To the ocean of Love and Beauty----to God. 


Monday, January 3, 2011

Rambai, here i come!

yes! dh dpt kunci bilik. 

but it was 66 stairs all together. it's like being in the upmost tower in the castle. And it's like Rapunzel, Rapunzel. 

and did i mention the room is messy? yeah. so called reban ayam. thrashes n plastics were all over the place. and my mirror was not attached to the wall. gggrrrr.. 

but ct said, "ok ape, awak xpayah nk jengket, nanti tak nampak pulak..". and that's very true though. so, never mind. 

we have come into conclusion that...

it's not going to be today.

Maybe this afternoon or tomorrow we'll set the place neat and tidy. and begin our journey hiking "The Palace of Rambai"!

It's gonna total workout everyday to the end of the semester and of the whole 6 years.

and it's gonna be tiring of all the workloads and etc....

and it's gonna be a memorable semester of 

love and friendship..... 

Sunday, January 2, 2011


HELLO 2011, GOODBYE 2010!!


alhamdulillah selamat sampai terminal sg. nibong pukul 4.15am. dengan bus shamisha  yg sejuk tahap xingat sampai ke tulang. duk senget, xkene. duduk lurus xkene. pusing punya pusing, sipi2 nk jatuh dr seat. walaupun single seating, tapi dapat seat 2nd last. imagine dengan bus driver yang bawak macam pelesit dalam hujan ye. bukan itu je, dengan terlanggar batu ke lopak jalan ke  ape ntah, sampai melambung org2 dalam bus. SO, cmne nk tido kalo xselesa?? (tp tertido gak la... ngehee..)

dan disebabkan tertido itu la, wa punye tengkuk xbrapa nk waras. dh tu? xkan xtido satu malam kot?? kan? ha.. 
sampai2 je, terminal gulap gulita don.. huhu. only few people, actually there was only 7 people waiting. diorg sampai awal la tu. so, kene la tunggu Mohd Ezarul Hisyam, Siti Khadijah dan Shazwani.

Pukul 5am. Ezarul Hisyam kata "lambat ckit, bus mcm rosak je.. jem!"
Siti kata"Dh sampai dh, mana awak?"
Sy kata"dekat bawah pokok tepi gate terminal."
Siti: okeh, kita tunggu wani. dia pun dh sampai dh.
Wani: hai korng.. awal gila eh aku sampai. kul 3am. xde org, jadi aku tunggu kat dalam surau.

Sekarang mana mamat si ezarul hisyam.. lambat lagi ke..
Zarul: dh gerak dh, atas jambatan ni ha.. sabaq no..
so dia sampai kul 5.30 camtu, ingat nk balik naik taxi sekali, tapi ada nazi, xmuat la keta.. jd dia balik ngan 2 org kwn lg.. sy, wani n ct naik taxi yg berharga RM15yaw! tapi adat la tgh2 pagi buta.. 

sampai je rambai, tgk2 ramai maknusia tgh tgu bertenggek di lantai kerana...


yezza... pintu kunci.. okeh.. then let's go to PALA!! i have the key... hehehe..
ha, kenapa harus ke PALA? kerana sehari sebelum itu, kami telah dimaklumkan oleh SEORANG AGEN YANG BIASANYA SAMPAI AWAL yg bernama..

Berita yang telah disampaikan yg lebih kurang berbunyi begini..
"ct, bilik korang ngan bilik aku tak boleh bukak. aku mula2 bukak bilik aku, pastu xleh bukak. aku pun ingat nak amik kunci bilik korang, nk tumpang, tapi bilik korang lagi FATAL.!!Kunci pun xleh nk masuk, jadi aku tumpang bilik ahlam dulu."

itu la dia beritanya..... sebab tu kitorang duduk kat mana? kat UMAH WARDEN PALA...

huhu.. dh setel semua kat umah warden, kibas2 tilam, tepuk2 bantal... yeah... TIDO TIME!!
bangun2 dah pukul 9.50 itupun terkejut sebab pintu ditendang oleh LOOI CHIEW HUEY sebab bila dia gode gode, pintu xleh bukak. memamng la xleh bukak... kitorg dh kunci dr dalam.. sebarang tapak kai n kasut semuanya kat dalam umah.. whahaha.. xpe, dimaafkan jika kes begitu terjadi.

disebabkan punggung dan belakang masih lenguh2, kami pun sambung tido lagi.. sehingga..
"korang.....! hehehe.."
"eh, akak...!"
kak farah dtg untuk amik barang.. borak2, sharifah pulak datang nak amik barang...
kitorang?? haha.. relak dlu brader.. nak hangkut pun nak letak kat mana?? 
pastu, kitorg tido lagi.. smapai la "Allahuakbar Allahuakbar".

huhu.. Asar sudah.. disebabkan masih "hari jepun", wa xamik pusing sgt.. tapi terasa pening2 lalat.. tgk kiri kanan, ceh, ct ngan wani pun tido jugak.. hahahha.. baru tak jeles.. (sbb kadang jeles tgk org steady je xtido, aku tido je..) 

so, basically, 2011 now, today is not a very hectic day.. hahaha.. tunggu la kau bila time ngemas nanti.. turun tinggkat 2, naik tingkat 3!! weeehuuuu!! kalo xkurus lagi, xtau la.. jin lemak apa la kat dlm bdn ni. hm. so that was it. i have nothing to do right now, and still wondering if tomorrow can be a holiday.... hmmm... BERANGAN TAK INGAT!!!

i have no new year resolution yang nak dicapai.. just hoping for a better year to come and a better me. nothing much.. tahun2 sudah pun takde azam... xtau nak berazam apa.. 
hahaha.. i'm not that so futuristic girl anyway.. =p
Ahlam said: Be nice to me 2011.

ME say: sekejap je ni nak habis 2011.. tup tap tup tap dah 2012.. hmm... ( wat a very not-future teacher to be....) =(

adios for now.. bubbye.. 

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